I will ask the question again: Why do we continue to settle for less than the best?
I had dinner tonight with a couple of my starlets at Belly Q again (yes Belly Q…lol – that watermelon/rose water & edamame was calling my name) & as always the subject of men came up. They stayed the topic for the entire 2 1/2 hour meal. We probably would still be there if they weren’t closing. It got so heavy so fast that I do not think we realized that closing time had come upon us. When we are young(er), we walk away with the quickness when something doesn’t fall in line with what we consider as tolerable. As we age, we end up dealing with the exact things that we vowed we would never deal with. Why do we deal with the disrespectful baby mamas, the lack of communication with our mates, the disrespectful kids, shut-down/nonchalant attitudes, or (in-general) the person that just refuses to make you a priority? Is it really all just to say we have someone? When you come to your guy about your issues then he don’t know what you talkin about. If you ask him, “what do you do for me?”, then he wants to come back with, “I pay the bills.” Oh yeah? I can pay the bills with what I make. So, now passed that, “what do you do?” Then, you hear the sound of crickets or you actually get the reply, “nothing”. So, if you care for me so much, why do you bring so much baggage that isn’t mine to carry? If you care for me so much why is it such a task to see when I’m hurt or need a moment to myself to regroup? We carry it for you because we love you & we want to make you happy. Relationships are supposed to be give/take, 50/50, but it seems to always land on 1 side more than the other. In the end, people that do that for their mates are ending up with the short end of the stick. Ultimately, they begin to resent their mate & will start contemplating leaving the relationship. Women are natural nurturers (at least majority of the female population). Why don’t some men think that women need to be nurtured, supported, & emotionally/physically/spiritually taken care of? So, how can we ever get better if we never strive to be on the same page? We cannot continue to keep the mentality to just let things go & I’ll handle it later. Everyone has their breaking point & if you continue to fail to see the end is nearing then you will be the exact replica of the Vivian Green song, Gotta Go Gotta Leave!
If you want that person, you seriously need to start taking inventory of the exact situation that is placed before you. Your view isn’t theirs & if you DO NOT communicate, then how can you know? Sooner you start, the better.